My Rules for Networking That Actually Pays Off

Networking is one of those things that sounds great in theory—meet awesome people, swap referrals, grow your business.

But in reality?

It can be a total time suck.

You sign up for groups, fill your calendar with coffee chats, and walk away wondering, “Why did I spend an hour talking to someone I’m never going to collaborate with?”

I’ve been there. In fact, I quit all of my networking groups in 2022 because I was so burnt out. I was spending too much time with people who either:

  • Weren’t aligned with where I was headed, or

  • Simply couldn’t offer any kind of value (and I wasn’t interested in becoming besties either).

That might sound harsh, but let’s be honest: your calendar is a business tool, not a community potluck. If something doesn’t move your business forward—or refill your energy—it doesn’t belong there.

Here’s how I decide who’s worth networking with, and how I make sure the effort actually pays off.

Rule 1: It Has to Be a Two-Way Street

I’m naturally a giver. I love helping people. But I’ve learned the hard way that one-sided relationships will leave you drained and resentful.

So I ask myself:

  • Can I offer real value to this person?

  • Can they offer value back?

Value can look like referrals, collaboration, opportunities, or simply leveling up through smart conversations. But there has to be mutual respect and exchange.

Some of my favorite networking relationships are with people in the same industry as me—even direct competitors. I’ve built strong connections with other virtual assistant agency owners and operations consultants, because we show up with a spirit of collaboration, not scarcity.

We trade ideas. We challenge each other. We make each other better.

That’s the kind of value that keeps me engaged.

Rule 2: I Have to Actually Like Talking to You

This one’s simple: I don’t care how “connected” you are or how impressive your offer is—if I wouldn’t want to grab a drink with you, I’m not wasting a lunch hour on Zoom.

Life’s too short for energy-draining conversations.

This doesn’t mean we have to be best friends or have the same worldview. I’ve got referral partners who are the total opposite of me in terms of personality, background, even beliefs.

But we respect each other. And I trust them enough to send clients their way.

If I don’t get that baseline “this person’s a decent human” vibe, I’m out.

The Habit That Keeps Me Sane (and Organized)

If you’re like me, your calendar will fill up fast if you’re not careful.

That’s why I built a ranking system in my CRM (HubSpot) to track and organize my network:

  • Top Referral Partner – Someone I regularly exchange leads or opportunities with

  • Mild Referral Partner – We check in occasionally, some value overlap

  • Poor Fit – No value exchange, doesn’t align, or energy-draining

I also track what “stage” the relationship is in:

  • Still establishing

  • Brainstorm buddies

  • Occasional check-in

  • Just staying warm

This helps me prioritize outreach and protect my time.

Because if I don’t manage my network intentionally, my people-pleasing side takes over—and next thing I know, I’m on back-to-back calls that don’t move the needle.

Final Thought: Your Calendar = Your Strategy

If you’ve been feeling drained by networking or wondering why it’s not delivering results, check your criteria.

Ask yourself:

  • Am I showing up in the right rooms?

  • Do I have rules for what “valuable” connection looks like?

  • Do I have a system to stay intentional?

You don’t need to “work the room” or join every coffee chat.
You need to be strategic and honest about what actually fuels your business—and your brain.

Have your own rules for networking? I’d love to hear them—comment below or connect with me on LinkedIn.

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